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Reader Advisory: Goofy, Stoned Content Ahead.
Iím on a Claritin D, so we all know how that goes. Hereís the latest.

Dad's coming to visit! He'll get here a week from today. I'm very, very excited. Beaker just took him fishing last time, but now we plan to show him all the different ways you can pull food out of the ocean. There's crabbing! There's fishing on Beaker Monkeypants! (Thatís Beakerís boatís real name. Not his real name in place of Beaker Ė it is as is. I named it.) There's fishing on the commercial boat - bait fishing and fish fishing! I can tell he's excited. He's going to stay for almost a whole week!

Today I get to go to the mainland and my boss will buy me lunch because our station manager up there is leaving. That's almost a three-hour chunk out of a Friday! I'm very excited.

This morning, when Beaker left my room at 5 a.m. to fish, he leaned over to kiss me goodbye, and then, for some inexplicable reason, said, "I love you. Goodbye, my LOVAH." And I remember laying there, but being in that semi-conscious state of sleep where I so badly wanted to say, "LOVAH?! What the hell are you smoking? Oh, yeah. Pot."

But instead, I was only able to make this noise: "Eeehhhhr."

Then, because they couldn't catch any bait, Beaker then came back just as I was getting out of the shower, and called me on it! He's like, "You were laying there, but you couldn't talk! I was like, LOVAH! It was SO funny!"


We rode bikes to the grocery store last night, because we desperately needed this kind of pie that he discovered and it is SO delicious. Well, I rode my awesome new bike. He rode Shawn's tiny bike thing. I almost wrecked onto the highway because I was laughing at him so hard - he's in front of me, about 2 inches from the ground, knees up to his ears, pedaling away - man.

Really Handsome, Strapping Tall Man + Tiny, Crappy Bike = Hilarious.

Think of the other people for whom that would work, and we'd laugh at the comedy! Tim Robbins! Kobe Bryant! Ahnold!

Wow. Apparently Claritin D abuse is the gateway drug to exclamation point addiction. I better call the FDA.

The Realm of Monkey Love
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