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03.04.04
Maybe I'll Train To Be A Leprechaun, Instead.
I�m officially a Non-Ninja, for one month.

This makes me kind of sad, and Beaker�s sick of it, so now you have to hear it. Sorry.

But I�m paying this money to go to Tae Kwon Do, right? And it�s in the evenings, right? Here was last week:

Monday � I had the heartburn of an 89-year-old man who just ate a sausage taco, with a side of sausage taco and extra pepperoni.

Tuesday � talk show. I can never go on a Tuesday.

Wednesday � hockey game. (Awesome. Devils smoked the Panthers, I drank five beers, and there was one fistfight � either on the ice or in my section. You take a guess.)

Tonight � getting ready for my dad to arrive.

Friday � Dad arrives.

Fine. One week out. Let�s take a look at next week, shall we?

Monday � Dad here. I�d like to say I�ll go, but then I�ll realize it�s my dad�s next to last night and I�ll get sad and then skip class. God, I�m a pathetic little ninja.

Tuesday � talk show.

Wednesday � other station event.

Thursday � Relay for Life meeting.

Friday � well, I COULD go on that Friday!

The next week is better, but Tuesday is out because of the show, and I have a hard-go-get pedicure appointment on that Thursday. Yes, ninjas get pedicures. God.

But look how stupid that is? I missed half the month of March, almost, for things that are out of my control. And it�s not like it�s cash money free to be a badass ninja! No, quite the opposite � it costs cash money.

So I am a non-ninja, for one month. I�m the saddest non-ninja in town. I took great joy in cutting class, until just this second, when I realized I CAN�T go to class this month. I�m pretty sure that�s some very basic reverse psychology I�m falling for, there. Clearly, my mental discipline is already suffering, from my lack of martial arts. I�m going to be a mushy ball of physical and mental mush by April.

Here are a list of all the things I was trying to do yesterday, all at the same time:

-make plans for hockey game travel

-pre-qualify for a home loan

-answer a dozen Relay for Life emails

-compose an email to my committee chairs

-talk to my cancer society staff partner about various issues

-work

-not cry from sheer swampedness, and frustration

-appease this man who had seen someone drown at a bar the night before, had issues with how the cops handled the situation, and was increasingly getting more and more sarcastic, then borderline threatening, because he felt that I wasn�t doing enough

-book a talk show

-moderate the forum.

-make a list of things to do before my dad gets here

-not cry

If a stranger had walked up to me any time yesterday and said, �You�re 27 years old! When are you going to settle down, get married, have kids?� I honestly think I would have stood up, walked around my desk, and punched that stranger right in the face.

Hmm. Maybe there�s some ninja left in me yet.

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