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03.04.04
Maybe I'll Train To Be A Leprechaun, Instead.
Iím officially a Non-Ninja, for one month.

This makes me kind of sad, and Beakerís sick of it, so now you have to hear it. Sorry.

But Iím paying this money to go to Tae Kwon Do, right? And itís in the evenings, right? Here was last week:

Monday Ė I had the heartburn of an 89-year-old man who just ate a sausage taco, with a side of sausage taco and extra pepperoni.

Tuesday Ė talk show. I can never go on a Tuesday.

Wednesday Ė hockey game. (Awesome. Devils smoked the Panthers, I drank five beers, and there was one fistfight Ė either on the ice or in my section. You take a guess.)

Tonight Ė getting ready for my dad to arrive.

Friday Ė Dad arrives.

Fine. One week out. Letís take a look at next week, shall we?

Monday Ė Dad here. Iíd like to say Iíll go, but then Iíll realize itís my dadís next to last night and Iíll get sad and then skip class. God, Iím a pathetic little ninja.

Tuesday Ė talk show.

Wednesday Ė other station event.

Thursday Ė Relay for Life meeting.

Friday Ė well, I COULD go on that Friday!

The next week is better, but Tuesday is out because of the show, and I have a hard-go-get pedicure appointment on that Thursday. Yes, ninjas get pedicures. God.

But look how stupid that is? I missed half the month of March, almost, for things that are out of my control. And itís not like itís cash money free to be a badass ninja! No, quite the opposite Ė it costs cash money.

So I am a non-ninja, for one month. Iím the saddest non-ninja in town. I took great joy in cutting class, until just this second, when I realized I CANíT go to class this month. Iím pretty sure thatís some very basic reverse psychology Iím falling for, there. Clearly, my mental discipline is already suffering, from my lack of martial arts. Iím going to be a mushy ball of physical and mental mush by April.

Here are a list of all the things I was trying to do yesterday, all at the same time:

-make plans for hockey game travel

-pre-qualify for a home loan

-answer a dozen Relay for Life emails

-compose an email to my committee chairs

-talk to my cancer society staff partner about various issues

-work

-not cry from sheer swampedness, and frustration

-appease this man who had seen someone drown at a bar the night before, had issues with how the cops handled the situation, and was increasingly getting more and more sarcastic, then borderline threatening, because he felt that I wasnít doing enough

-book a talk show

-moderate the forum.

-make a list of things to do before my dad gets here

-not cry

If a stranger had walked up to me any time yesterday and said, ďYouíre 27 years old! When are you going to settle down, get married, have kids?Ē I honestly think I would have stood up, walked around my desk, and punched that stranger right in the face.

Hmm. Maybe thereís some ninja left in me yet.

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