Neal and I got wasted Friday night. Trashed. I haven't been that drunk in a long, long time.

I was so drunk, I thought a shot (OK, 2) of liquor I'd never heard of was a fine idea.

I was so drunk, afterhours with a co-worker and his kinda-girlfriend, in her trailer, was acceptable.

I was so drunk, I let said kinda-girlfriend pressure me into yet another shot, fully knowing ahead of time that I would throw it up immediately. (And I did.)

I was so drunk, Neal and I walked over a mile home, and it seemed like nothing.

I was so drunk, I don't remember going to bed.

I was so drunk, I woke up wearing a bra, and nothing else. No undies, no nothing. Just a bra. I'm wondering if that tricky little clasp presented too much of a challenge for my drunk ass.

Man, was it fun.

But I'm sure as hell not going that again for a while.

We took it easy Saturday. OK, we slept the entire day.

Saturday night, big surprise, we continued to take it easy. We watched High Fidelity, which I am tentatively recommending, because I haven't fully formed an opinion yet. I will, but in a little bit.

I went swimming on Sunday, while Neal worked on the other Jamiestar. He did nice stuff. Go see.

THE BAD NEWS: Neal is in Atlanta for the next few days.

Is it a bad thing that I'm 24 years old, and freaked out at the prospect of staying home alone for the next 2 nights?

I don't know how Gretchen does it. Or how Maggie used to do it, before the advent of Boyfriend Brad.

Well, I can take comfort in the fact that part of my anxiety likely stems from the violent, graphic, terrifying nightmares I've had the past 2 nights. I mean, really bad. People in my family stabbed, or with big holes blown throught them. Finding friends, dead in the driver's seat of a car. Knowing I had to get away from certain people, or I would die, but not knowing why. Having a knife to defend myself, but not knowing how to use it. Never knowing where I was.

At least I was fast in these dreams. Sometimes I couldn't talk, though.

I suppose it goes without saying that I'm tired.

How do you keep from being afraid? I'd really, really like to know.