Does anyone else have this Goosh stuff? Should I be worried that the more I play with it, the smaller it gets?

Also, it comes with these little plastic balls, and this metallic stuff to mix in. I'm afraid to add the plastic, because I'm afraid I'll hate it and spend the rest of my life picking little BB-sized plastic balls out of my Goosh. I'm pretty sure the metallic effect is permanent.

Something else about the Goosh... My friend Maggie once dated a 55-year-old biker. She drove around the country with him, selling leather products, I believe. Her adventures with BikerDude have also made her the only other person I know, besides me, who has rolled a car. Anyway, after I bought the Goosh, she told me she can't play with Goosh anymore. I, of course, asked her why, and... well... She came home one day, to find her Goosh kind of crusty and... hairy. It turns out BikerDude used the Goosh to satisfy his, well, sexual longings. Now, I've never met BikerDude, nor have I seen any photographs. But I'll be damned if I don't think about that every single time I pick up the stuff.

So it's a little ruined for me, too. But not that much.

I'm in the process of trying to clean off my front porch.
When my buddies (<- at first that said "biddies" -- they're not!) visit for Halloween, there's a pretty good chance 2 of them will be sleeping on the porch. Oh, that's not as bad as it sounds! It's an inner porch, with hard wood floors and storm shutters. It may actually be nicer than the house.

So one of my co-workers, Big Daddy, is lending me a couple of cots to use while my friends are in town. However, Big Daddy and his wife are leaving for Bosnia tomorrow, so he has to drop them off today.

So I'm cleaning off the porch, and I'm finding some interesting things. It's kind of like an emotional train wreck out there.

One of the things I found among Neal's crap is an old, old Jack and Jill from 1956. This is odd, since Neal wasn't born till the 70's, but whatever. (For those that don't know... Jack and Jill is a children's magazine, kind of like Highlights.)

So I picked it up and started reading through, curious about just how sexist this magazine would be.

And I'm reading this section about puns. To explain them, they use riddles. Like,

Why is a boat like a store?

They both have sails. (sales)

What do a jailer and a jeweler have in common?

One sells watches and the other watches cells.

Haha, right?

Well, they're all like that, until I get to this one:

How do you get a housekeeper down when she's at the top of a shaky stepladder?

A duck's breast.

The fuck?

Anyone?