(Note From Joey: Jamie has told me, in confidence, that although she is flying over your house, and can see you in all your nudey splendour, she is only telling you to put your clothes back on because her DAD (Hi Mr. Star!) reads this page. In reality, she's a perverted peeping thomasina, and would love it if you did a little dance while her plane flies overhead.)

I�ve been having strange luck while in my car lately. Here are the top three incidents, in order of embarrassment, from least to most:

1. I�m driving down the highway, headed to work, and I start thinking about the new Tae Kwon Do form I just learned. As I�m trying to recall exactly what the moves are, I start unconsciously moving my hands accordingly, making what I�m sure are goofy-looking kung-fu type moves with my hands. As I�m doing this, I notice someone waving out their window at me, several cars up. When I pull past, sure enough, it�s Beaker�s boss�s girlfriend, watching me karate it up like a big fat dork.

2. I�m stopped at a red light, front of the line, right next to a semi truck. I�m wearing a pretty short skirt, and while I�m waiting for the light to turn, I�m suddenly struck by an URGENT itch on my foot. Hiking my knee up onto the dash, I�m scratching that sucker and keeping an eye on the light, and I notice the semi is inching forward. Because the light is still red, I look over to see what the hell this guy is doing, easing out into the intersection.

I realize he�s both pulling forward and straining his neck, his greasy forehead pressed up against the windshield, in order to get a better look up my skirt.

3. I tried to get into the wrong car after eating at Wendy�s. I mean, REALLY tried.

Back up. I ate by myself � a quick stop-in while cramming errands into my lunchtime schedule. I noticed a table of construction-looking guys eating and checking me out. I ignored them while I packed away the burger, but was unable to as I walked out the door, since one of them shouted �Byyeeeeee� when I passed their table.

I guess I was flustered, what with my next step being to go outside, and frantically try to unlock the door of another blue car that ISN�T mine. Not even close � mine�s a Neon, and this was a Hyundai.

All the while, I�m sure those asshats inside were watching me. And probably still watching me when I realized that I do NOT own a red sweatshirt like the one on the Hyundai�s front seat, realized why my key wouldn�t unlock the door, and slinked over to my own vehicle to make my red-faced escape.

4. CAR2D2 won�t hold brake fluid, so the brakes just� won�t work anymore. I almost rear-ended a truck when it made a sudden right turn in front of me. Fortunately(?), the tires locked up before I could hit it, leaving smoke and a long line of burnt rubber in my wake.

That�s less �embarrassing,� and more �terrifying,� huh?