I�m almost speechless, but not quite. Ha!

What with my deathly illness and the kitty tragedy, I�ve skipped over some stories I�ve been wanting to tell you. Yeah, I�m writing about my weekend on a Thursday. What of it, huh?

I spent most of the weekend in a DayQuil + head cold induced fog. I quite literally felt stoned for a good chunk of the time. And, as I mentioned in the forum, the DayQuil gives me a runny mouth as well as a runny nose, meaning, I completely lost the ability to censor myself. I can�t remember all the gross and/or personal things I revealed to Neal this weekend before I could stop myself, but I know several had to do with puking and tampons. That poor kid.

I think part of the reason I stayed sick for so long is because every time I started to feel better, I�d jump off the couch or bed and tackle a project. I can be lazy as a coffee cup any time except for when I�m sick, apparently. Then, when I was done with whatever I�d tried to do, I felt dizzy and crappy and would have to go lie down for 4 hours. Lather, rinse, repeat.

The best of these projects was my trip to the Crackpipe Kmart. I call it that because it�s so very ghetto. Commercial development, especially chain stores, is not encouraged here in the Keys. No nice Super K for us, nuh-uh. We get Crackpipe Kmart, where the selection sucks, but don�t worry... it doesn�t suck as bad as the service! I was on a quest for paint, a kitty bed, and other odds and ends.

I know my sense of direction sucks already. But Crackpipe Kmart seems to magnify the problem. It takes about 10 seconds for me to get lost in that store when I�m NOT sick and stoned. So I�m wandering around Kmart in a mucusy fog. I think I�m looking for wastebaskets when all of a sudden I�m in the middle of this area with flashing blue lights over head and this cheesy techno music pumping out of the speakers. Positive I�m hallucinating, I squint to make out a red-vested employee so he can lead me back to the land of tacky, over-priced Martha Stewart products. The employee I�m looking to for guidance all of a sudden grabs a microphone and starts shouting into it.

�YOYOYO. WELCOME TO KMART, NICE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. AT THIS TIME, WE ARE CONDUCTING A BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL. THAT�S RIGHT, Y�ALL. BLUE LIGHT SPEICAL IN AISLE 9. TWO LITERS OF COCA-COLA NORMALLY PRICED AT $1.39, ON SALE FOR 39 CENTS! GET YOUR BOOTIES OVER HERE AND PICK SOME UP, LADEEEEES AND GENTLEMEN!�

Holy shit. I�m in Club Blue Light. People bum-rush me, grabbing for Coke, while I whimper and snivel and try to escape. There�s carts filled with sub-standard consumer products being pushed by shaggy people in battered Hawaiian shirts all around me. All I could think to myself is, �All I want is some wastebaskets and a cat bed. That�s all. Wait. Oh, God. I�m the biggest dork ever.�

Except for DJ K-Marty-Mart. I couldn�t help but snicker to myself when I could hear him trying to get all the other employees pumped for the big close-out. He acted really disappointed when they weren�t properly �psyched,� and then grabbed the loudspeaker to command ALL EMPLOYEES ON DA FLOOR to join him in Aisle 9. I left before I could see them huddle up, but I�ll bet when the Red Vest Brigade gets together, it�s a par-tay.

I escaped, but barely and with the wrong texture of paint. After several rejections, Miss Budina actually likes her new kitty bed. When she�s curled up in it, it looks like she�s lounging in a little Jacuzzi, so it�s been dubbed �The Kitty Hot Tub.�

Painting Update: Has come to a stall what with sickitty depression, but we still have momentum and are sure we�ll pick it back up this weekend.

Harry Potter Trivia Update: Fucking Neal is up 2 games to 1. But we�re in the middle of a game where we�re both in the final round, so I�m going to try to tie it back up in the next couple of days. Never fear.

Thanks again, everyone. I can't say it enough. Much love.