There's nothing like it, guys.

I have this new talk show. It's based on the news and hosted by me alone, so the only way the show's spotlight could be shining on me any more is if we called it, "The Jamie Hour" and just let me babble nonstop into a mic. (That one's in the works. Yeah, right. Neal already has to endure "The Jamie Hour" every night... I don't think I could inflict that upon the general public.)

Anyway, the new talk show has been running once a week for about a month now. In theory, it's suppose to be live, but that doesn't always translate well into the schedules of the guests. So until today, the segments have been pre-recorded. Shhh.

I couldn't have picked a more heated, controversial topic. "Personal Watercraft." Also known as Waverunners, JetSkis, etc. In discussing this topic, we have to cover wildlife, lawmaking, and all the other fun issues that people get really upset about. Not to mention one of my guests was a paid lobbyist for the PWC industry, which stands to lose piles and piles of money if some of the proposed regulations go through.

Scary. Really scary.

You guys, I had vivid, realistic nightmares about the show all last night.

I dreamed they got mad at each other and yelled.

I dreamed that I couldn't speak.

I dreamed that all they would do is huddle together and mutter about their notes, refusing to speak into the mics.

I dreamed that I had to waste my first commercial break five minutes into the hour, and was desperately trying to fill 25 minute chunks with reluctant questions and answers.

I dreamed that I had to scold them like children during the commercial breaks, and they just pouted at me sullenly when we were back on the air, refusing to talk.

My favorite was the dream where the PWC rep and I were patiently listening to one of the guest's arguments, and she muttered to me out of the corner of her mouth, "I want to go for a ride right now soooo bad," like she was some kind of deranged JetSki addict. For some reason, DreamJamie responded by nodding sincerely and saying, "Yeah, me too."

But...

The show was a success.

I didn't say anything stupid. Oh, except I closed the hour with, "We'll see you next week," and they'll only hear ME next week, but big fat fatty fat deal. I asked good questions, and challenged every viewpoint presented. Even though I didn't make it to the related workshop last night until it was almost over, I think I showed a grasp of the issue.

The guests were all GOOD. That's a feat right there. They were smart AND well-spoken. (Those two qualities almost never mix.) They were aggressive AND polite. No one acted like the mic was going to bite them in the face. They were incredibly nice to each other during the breaks. They didn't complain about standing in a stuffy room for an entire hour. (It's a small studio.) No one interrupted another person. Not once. That alone is far more than a feat... It's a miracle.

My program director gave me props. The guests gave me props. I'm going to go get some lunch to weigh me down before I float away.