Can you believe that shit? No show, no call, no nothing.

Extra-Terrestrial-believing bastards.

Update: The ET guy actually called while I was writing this. He blamed traffic. Beam it up, bitch.

My dad came down for a visit this weekend. We had a couple of good talks, and a fun-packed visit, but not enough time. I love my pops. We went out to dinner Thursday, then we cooked dinner and went out dancing Friday night, then fishing and snorkeling Saturday, followed by just dinner and rest Saturday night because Shawn and Dad and I were ex-freaking-hausted by that point. I actually think I'm going to force him to write a guest-entry with his perspective of the trip, but first, I get to tell the story of Shawn vs. The Swarm Of Fish.

Saturday's fishing and snorkeling was done on the boat of Shawn's mom and boyfriend. They are very cool, nice, laid-back people - Keys residents of the most classic definition. One of our destinations was the Christ statue underwater off of Key Largo. (That's a big ol' web page to load, so here are some other photos.) Shawn snorkeled the statue on a school field trip, thought it was supercool, and was dying to get back and show it to Dad and me. There were many obstacles on the way, as journeys to meet with the lord so commonly face, but we finally found the reef, and a captain pointed out to us where the statue was located.

Shawn: "All-RIGHT! I'm going to get me some Christ!"

We snorkeled the statue, and I'll act like it was lovely, but in actuality, it was one of the most terrifying things I've ever seen. Christ, about ten feet below you underwater, hands outstretched, looking up at you with big, dead, blank eyes. God, I'm shivering right now. All covered in mold and still as a rock and the BIG DEAD EYES. I had to suck up all my courage to dive down and touch his hand, the whole time fighting the gripping fear that as soon as my hand touched the rock, Christ's hand would snap shut, trapping me underwater.

"Jesuuuuuus! Let meeee GO!"

After I saw the statue, I headed back to the boat, leaving Shawn and her mom to snorkel around a while more. There were lots of fish around - yellowtail and chubs, mostly. Lots of yellowtail. And as I got within a few feet of the boat, I noticed lots and LOTS of yellowtail. Like, hundreds. I couldn't figure out why they were swarming, until I was able to make out Shawn's Mom's Boyfriend (SMB) on the boat above us, tossing bits of bread into the water. God, all the fish in the ocean came out of the waterwork to fight over a tiny bit of bread.

I got on the boat. SMB began tossing the bread near Shawn and her mom.

Shawn totally lost her shit.

"AAAAUGH! SMB! Stop it! AAAAUGH! Get them off! Get them OFF!"

Dad and I started snickering. SMB kept tossing bread. Shawn's panic increased. Because Dad and I are sick bastards, so did our amusement. Finally, Shawn was boarding the boat, almost in tears. Dad and I were cracking up.

Shawn: "That was HORRIBLE! They... they... they THOUGHT we were BREAD!"

Don't worry. Shawn got SMB back on the dock, when it was time to hose down the boat.