I also found out more details about the fall. It turns out, not only did she drag herself to the car in the garage so she could use the cell phone to call an ambulance... she then used an umbrella she found to press in the garage door opener high on the wall, letting in the EMTs. Sheesh. She maybe a short, chubby bald woman, but that lady is tough. Wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley. She'd fucking kill you.

Anyway... I'm putting off the Fantasy Fest update in favor of something that happened last night.

I went to a costume contest at a resort a few islands down. I originally thought it would be a great excuse to wear my wings again. I adore those wings. But a cool rain fell early in the evening, followed by a steady breeze... It was too chilly for wing-type outfits when we left. So I pulled on some black pants, a white tank, a black leather jacket, and -- this is the important part -- a pair of devil horns someone gave me in college.

And off we went. Some good costumes, some bad costumes. Lots of laughs, a few frozen drinks. Then they take a break to tally the scores. I know 2 of the judges, so I duck into the judging area and sit in one of their chairs and we chat.

The stage was shaped like a wide runway. The judges sat in a "U" shape around it. I was sitting at the bottom of the "U."

The MC calls out the top 10. Some of them are very, very drunk. One man, wearing a woman's bikini top, goggles, and arm floaties, drops his hat on the table in front of me. The next thing I know, he jumps down to get it - the table collapses - HARD - and he's in the sand at my feet.

I start laughing like a madwoman. I couldn't help it. It was the funniest thing I'd seen in a long time. If he hadn't been feeling no pain, he probably would have felt some major pain.

Now here's the funny part. As I'm cracking up, I start to notice the people in the crowds notice me, devil girl, and then look at the guy on the ground in front of me. And I could acutally see the thought "The devil made him do it" enter into their brains. They started laughing and taking pics. Neal and another friend were behind me laughing so hard they were in tears.

Man, I'm evil.