I went as a part of "Media Day." That's a tournament put on by a local charity to promote some upcoming fishing tournaments. A bunch of reporters fishing. Hoo boy.

The first step was the coctail party the night before, where we met our captains, and mingled with the other media-types. One of the head guys found me and took me over to meet my captain. Captain Chuck. As Cap'n Chuck stood up to shake my hand, he spilled a big glass of red wine all over a fancy chair. After that, I couldn't stop giggling.

Then Cap'n Chuck and I met up with the other media guy assigned to our boat, Walt. He writes for something near Orlando.

Cap'n Chuck told me later that when Walt informed me he wanted to shove off the next day at 6:20 a.m., the look of shock and horror on my face was priceless. Heh. I'll bet.

Cut to the next morning.

I show up EARLY, and am the first one there. Take that, Cap'n Chuck and Walt. Morning people, nature's dew, my ass.

So we ate breakfast and went out on the boat. There were 2 or 3 people to a boat, and about 2 dozen vessels in all.

I just love boats, and I love motoring around the ocean, so I was good to go.

The first "spot" Cap'n Chuck wanted was already taken by the evil rival Captain Thad.

So we moved on.

We got to the next spot, Cap'n Chuck hooked a live shrimp for me, and I was fishin'!

But not "catching." The fish weren't really around that day. No one in the entire tournament really caught much of anything.

So much for beginner's luck.

Here are the dynamics of the boat:

Walt was flyfishing, but I was casting.

Walt was avid, but I was stupid.

I really liked Captain Chuck, though. He was nice and patient. (And kinda cute, but married. Otherwise, he'd have definite fix-up-able potential.) He told me where to throw it. He tried to catch me a shark. (Really. A little one.)

We had fun. I think Walt had the most fun, though. He really enjoyed not catching a single thing for an entire morning. I think he liked it even better when I tangled my line in his, right as he was going after a big one.

Oh, but I think the very best part of the day for ol' Walt was when Cap'n Chuck told me he could see a fish, so I should cast out as far as I could, 12 o' clock. I had a little live crab on the hook for bait at that point. I could just tell that Walt totally loved it when I drew back to cast, swung the line forward as hard as I could, then hit him in the back with my hooked crab. He just got all twinkly as he wiped foul crab juice off of the back of his neck.

So we got back to the hotel for the awards luncheon, for which I was embarassingly underdressed. Cap'n Chuck bought me a beer, and Budweiser never ever tasted so good.

The food kind of sucked. OK, was crap on a plate. Oh, and Walt sat as far away as physically possible. The best part was when they were giving out the award for "Best Catch," and Cap'n Chuck leaned over and whispered, "Hey, maybe if you had hooked Walt, you'd be up there accepting that one."

I had to laugh.

(By the way, Walt was very kind and patient the whole day. Honest. But he really did sit all the way across the room for the lunch.)

So I'll bet you want to go fishing with me now, huh? Just name the time and place and I'm there, baby.

Hey! Click on the message board! The lovely Blossy (or perhaps her father) has solved yesterday's pun riddle!