Prepare . . . for total domination.
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2.13.02
What's My Temperature? I Could Be Delirious.
Me: "Boo hoo hoo. My boyfriend has a new job and is leaving me."

All of You: "Well, here! Have an amazing amount of love and support! Here, people who have never emailed you before are reaching out to you, because they know you're hurting."

Me: "Wow, this is nice. Man, I really don't feel good. I'm going to bed."

All of You: "Here, MORE love and support! Please give us more information, please tell us you'll be okay! We care about you!"

Me:







All of You: "Silence, huh? We see how you are, you needy bitch. You drop a freaking BOMBSHELL, and then you're all, 'FEEL for ME! LOVE me! It's SO hard!' And then you're all, 'I like to ask for attention, then completely blow off the people who give it to me!'"

Me: "I was sick! I swear! I'll email everyone tomorrow!"

All of You: "Yeah, right."

My Bed: "Dudes, I think she's lying. She only slept on me until about 1 p.m. That's standard for a weekend - she could just be blowing everyone off."

My Couch: "Shut up, Bed. You don't know anything. She was only on you until 1:00 because for SEVEN HOURS after that, her ass was glued to me. I thought she'd NEVER get up to use the computer, for the love of futon. I'm covered in snotty bits of toilet paper and popsicle sticks. God."

Popsicles: "Yeah, she's been eating the hell out of us, huh? Especially Grape. Her lips look like someone punched her in the face."

Remote Control: "Whatever. I know MY back is fucking killing me."

Neal: "All of you SHUT UP. I'M the one who has to wait on her all damn day."

Couch: "But you get to force feed her all that medicine while she whines and cries. At least that looks fun."

Neal: "Yeah, it is, a little."

Toilet: "Oh, yeah. Neal? About that? Could you take her off the multivitamins for a while? Not only is she beginning to resemble a Flintstone, but I'm becoming a little afraid that her radioactive yellow pee is eating away at my surface."

Neal: "Oops. Sorry."

Toilet: "'Salright."

Me: "God, shut UP! Can't a girl heal in peace over here? You think this is fun? My throat is fucking killing me. Besides the popsicles, all I've eaten are bowls of chicken noodley brothy stuff. I've had chicken and stars. I've had chicken and noodle-Os. I've had double noodle. Wait. Is there one more grape left? Were you HIDING from me?"

Grape: "Oh, shit."

Time to suck down the Grape and see if Neal's ready to play Scrabble.

Thank you, everyone. You know who you are.

The Realm of Monkey Love
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