Beaker: �So I rented that car for the trip, since we both drive rolling pieces of crap.�

Jamie: �That car? Did you get the convertible, like I wanted?�

Beaker: �Yep. A Chrysler Sebring.�

Me: �Whee! We�re going to be so Thelma and Louise, cruising down the highway, the sun at our backs, the wind in our hair��

Beaker: �You mean we have to put the top down?!�

Beaker: �Look at all these cars!�

Me: �Yep. Miami. Traffic.�

Five minutes later.

Beaker: �Look! Look at this, so many cars on the road!�

Me (glancing up from book): �Uh-huh.�

Five minutes later.

Beaker: �I just cannot believe how many cars are out, driving around!�

Me: �What is WITH you? I have never seen anyone so fascinated by TRAFFIC on the TURNPIKE. This is like taking a road trip with an Amish person.�

Beaker lights a doob.

Me: �You�re turning the Sebring in to the Smokering!�

Beaker: �Uh-huh.�

Me: �Get it? Sebring� Smokering!�

Beaker: �Yes, I heard you.�

Me: �Hee hee! I�m so funny.�

Me: �Is that rain, up ahead?�

Beaker: �Yep.�

Me (WAY too excited): �Let�s put the top down!�

Beaker: �Pbbbbt!�

And that was just the trip there. We had a great time riding roller coasters all day long Saturday, after a huge, grease-filled breakfast in the morning. Seriously, this place did not believe in a small breakfast, and there was no a la carte. So get this � we both had to order giant platters, and then� you know how most places, you get a side of toast? White, wheat or rye?

This place, you got a side of PANCAKES. You could choose syrup flavors.

We rode roller coasters like CRAZY. Beaker and I can be very efficient when we want, and did pretty much everything by 4 p.m.

This gave us time to go back to the hotel, jump in the pool, and (unfortunately), discover poolside drinks in Tampa only cost THREE DOLLARS.

As soon as I order a vodka cranberry, and Beaker orders a Cap�n and Coke, and the bartender makes very stiff drinks, hands them over, and says �Six bucks,� I knew we were in trouble. We drank our way through two showers and the getting ready process.

After lots of phone tag and driving around, we finally managed to hook up with Mimi. This was a highlight for me. Mimi was one of the first journals I�ve ever read, and she, Joey and I were all pretty much each other�s first cyberfriends.

Unfortunately, after all the fruitless driving around, my bladder was ready to erupt by the time we walked into the Chili�s where she was waiting. So I said, �That has to be you!� hugged her, and then acted like a dick, �I�m sorry, but I have to pee so bad, so here, hang out with my boyfriend, a complete and total stranger to you, while I go and drain the dragon, okay, gotta go, bye!�

But it seems like they got along just fine, and no one minded at all. Beaker can be very shy, but informed me later that he was in a talkative mood, and chatted with her until I returned.

And then the three of us proceeded to have a great time. Chili�s has this two-for-one happy hour thing that is just as dangerous as three-dollar drinks. Beaker and Mimi are discussing it, and I�m all, �Really? TWO drinks?� as the servers appear at my elbow carrying a million cocktails. They startled me, and I�m like, �Aaah!� and the server smirked, but who cares? I got two drinks!

I ate some wings and a salad, Mimi had southwestern egg rolls, and Beaker had some sort of chicken dish, that while I�m sure tasted delicious, looked like a mess. He kept trying to give both of use chicken, and we were both like, �Hmmm. No thanks.�

And Mimi and I tried to explain our relationship to Beaker. We�re talking to The Boy Who Has Never Emailed, though, so I�m not sure how much he got. We talked about Joey, and gossiped a bit about other online folks, and just enjoyed the hell out of each other�s company.

When Beaker got up to drain HIS dragon, Mimi leaned in, all, �He�s ADORABLE! Where did you FIND him?� and I�m like, I know, dude.

I found him on a boat. What can I say?

Reading her entry confirmed it, but I could tell she was half in love with him, just like everyone else is who meets him. I�m sitting there like, �Damn. I�ve been waiting to meet this girl for 3 years, and she likes my boyfriend better than me. I suck.�

Just kidding. She liked me, too. And Beaker was extremely impressed. She will come to the Keys. We will make it so.

The next day, Beaker and I got up and went to a water park. Water slides, bathing suits, water up the nose. It was a hours and hours of soggy fun. I spent all day with that weird feeling of seeing a whole bunch of strangers in their underwear, but whatever.

The big disappointment was the wave pool. Beaker and I both loved these as children, and what we want to know is� did this particular one just blow goats, or have they always been this lame, but just seemed bigger and more fun because we were smaller?

Drove home last night. Slept like a log. Back today.

And thereby kicks off Jamie�s 27th Annual Birthday Week extravaganza. The weekend is going to be tough to top, let me tell you.