I spent a lot of time talking to my dad last night, and then to mom. She just sounds so tired and sick. She rambled on and on about the weddings she went to this weekend, and how beautiful her buddy's dress was, while I cried silently and looked at my feet.

(Poor Shawn. I don't cry much, and she probably never had seen me do it in over a year. Now, teary phone conversations are a norm. It's probably freaky for her to look over during what seems like an average chat, and see me noiselessly sobbing.)

But that's my mom, man. Not, "Oh, I feel like crap. My back aches. I have bruises everywhere. I'm so miserable." No, she's all, "You should have seen Melanie's dress. Beauuuuutiful," followed by a detailed description of the embroidery. She was just happy for her friend, and happy she got to go see her get married.

When dad got back on the phone, I said, "I don't know what to do, Dad."
He replied softly, "You need to come home."
"Okay."

Just like that, it clicked into place. Of course I was coming home. Of course I'd be blowing off the 5K (Big fucking deal - it's been raining so much here, I haven't been able to run anyway). And not just to visit with mommy. Because I need to be there for my dad and my sisters.

Dad says he's starting to crumble a bit. He's not showing it. However, he told me over and over how we and my sisters need to be a unit. And how by being the oldest, even though it's not "fair," I need to be someone they can lean on. Like I could do it any other way, you know? It's always been like that.

Dad assured me he'd start scouting for plane tickets right away, and might call me at work the next day. So I hung up the phone, damp-eyed but confident in my decision.

Then I got here this morning, and was amazed to see an inbox full of feedback, from all of you guys. Not one person suggested I stay in the Keys. The responses ranged from gentle suggestions to outright commands - get your ass to Ohio! It kind of brought a smile to my face in the middle of this crappy situation - when I wrote my last entry yesterday, I was 50/50 torn. I get here, read my email, and find out a bunch of people who I've never even met face-to-face already knew the right answer, before I even had a clue.

Funny.