I'm sorry to say that Jamie has been kidnapped by her work, the various holiday appearances required of people in her line of work, new projects fantastically timed for the years' end, and general exhaustion.
Also, plans to take A BOY home to meet the family for the holidays. The WHOLE family. As her kidnappers, we have been telling Jamie that 27 is WAY too old to be freaking out about this stuff, but she keeps having... these dreams. You don't want to know. We almost put her back where we kidnapped her from, we're so tired of hearing, "But what if Beaker this? And what if they don't like him? And what if he hates flying with me, and wants to break up when we get back? Ooooh my god... it all just sounds so serious!"
27 YEARS OLD.
If you would like to see Jamiestar alive, or at least see an entry, the ransom is 549,700 candy canes and a mug of hot buttered rum, or the cash equivalent. Drop off payment IN FULL at the Pittsburgh airport, the Key Largo Visitors' Center, or at the bottom of the ocean, no later than midnight tonight.
Should payment not be made, we will force-feed Jamie olives until she cries. She really, really hates olives. Green AND black ones.
Her fate is in your hands.
- Jamiestar's Evil, Dastardly Kidnappers
