When I was down to $3.50, we met a Sponsor.

spon�sor

1. One who assumes responsibility for another person or a group during a period of instruction, apprenticeship, or probation.

In other words, a guy to buy us drinks all night. Obtaining a Sponsor is one of the key goals during any night of bar-hopping. A good Sponsor is not only a boon for the single girl, but also a terrific money-saving technique. Lest you chalk us up as shallow users, I should mention that after the first drink purchase, the Sponsor is made fully aware of the limits of his status and the boundaries associated with Sponsorship. In addition, the Sponsor is not limited to a single night of company. Many Sponsors have gone on to become some of our best buddies.

Friday night�s sponsor followed Jennifer and my to my house, so we could drop off my car. I just left the keys on the front seat and kept the car key, so I�d just get the house key out of the car when I got home. I was trying to avoid disturbing Shawn, who was resting because she hasn�t felt well for a while. I hopped into the Sponsor�s convertible and we followed Jennifer to Bar #2.

Where we all proceeded to have big fat fun. I miss going out with Jennifer. She�s started nursing school and has been unavailable lately.

The Sponsor left us a few hours later, and Jennifer and I obtained New Friends. (Me: �The $3.50 lives on!�) Finally, it was time to go home. As she pulled into my driveway, I reached into my jeans pocket for my car key.

NO KEY.

I searched every pocket and the floor of Jennifer�s car, but no dice. She was getting tired, and finally was just like, �Sorry, about your key, Jamie!� and drove away.

That is how at 3:57 a.m., I ended up traipsing through my front yard, wearing kitten-heeled sling backs and honestly, still a little tipsy. I knocked lightly on Shawn�s window. No response. I knocked a little louder. The dog next door began barking obnoxiously, but still nothing from Shawn. I tested our two front windows and found the glass panes were lowered and locked.

The side window�s pane was up, screen only. I stood there for a minute, trying to figure out how to break in but cause the least amount of damage possible. Then, I heard our neighbor get up and try to shush their damn dog, so I knew I only had a limited amount of time before they�d look out to see what was going on, see me, assume someone was trying to break in, and call the cops.

So I grabbed the edges of the screen and bent that fucker in until the panel popped out. Hauled my tight-jeans-and-high-heels-wearing ass through the window, and promptly crashed on the couch.

Still no sign of the key. That sucks. We�re down to one car, and all the other keys in my life are locked in MY car.

Naturally, I don�t have the spare key. No, it is of course with Neal in Ohio, because that�s handy and makes so damn much sense. I had him overnight it on Saturday, but since today�s a stupid holiday, I�ll get it tomorrow at the earliest. This will present some problems during Two Talk Show Tuesday, I�m sure.

And, my sister and her friend are coming for a visit tomorrow. At least they rented a car.

Plus, I�m positive our attractively deformed screen�ll impress them, upon their arrival to the Avacasa.