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I'll Bet The Dolphins Would Give Neal A Job.
Wow. This sucks. My car won't start, it looks and sounds like a dead battery, and I'm stuck at home for the time being.

Neal's on the case, the sweetheart.

Speaking of Neal, I bet some of you are wondering what's going on with him, what with me whining and crying and moaning two weeks ago about how he was supposed to start a job today, and would be leaving me for a long time.

He was supposed to start today. I have a bad feeling there's something weird going on.

He went and took his drug test last week, and the results took longer than anticipated. Fine. But the HR lady says there's no point in starting the background check or even looking at the application he submitted post-interviews until that test comes back. Uh, fine, I guess.

Apparently, nothing has come back yet, because we're hanging out in this nice club called Limbo, and Neal's been a big cranky ball of stress for about two weeks now. He's paranoid that something is going wrong, and the whole deal is going to fall through.

Have I mentioned that I have to live with the big, cranky ball of stress? I've had more relaxing Februaries, this is for sure.

Despite all the Neal Job Lip-Biting, I had a pretty terrific weekend. One of the centers that offers swims with dolphins called the station wanting DJs to participate, and then talk about their experience on the air. Co-Host Kim and I thought this would be a great topic for the Girls' Night Out Show. Coincidentally, it was the same center I used to buy Neal a swim for his birthday last year.

So Kim and I went yesterday, and it was big, big fun. Chilly, so we zipped on some wetsuits. I'm fairly certain that every single other, non-Kim-or-me person there should write us a thank you note, because the trainers REALLY put it on. Our session was extraordinary, compared to when Neal and I went, and when Mom went and I watched. Those were great, too, but this was unbelievable. We had tons of one-on-one time with the animals, and got to do all kinds of tricks I had never seen done at previous swims.

We got to play and play and play. I held onto a dorsal fin with each hand and let the dolphins drag me around. We rubbed their bellies and they retrieved rings. Kim and I held up a pole, while we were in the water, and they jumped over it. That was amazing.

The highlight by far, though, was Kim being pushed around on her stomach. She had her hands in front of her, and a dolphin's nose on each foot, and they would motor her around. I did it, too.

But I stretched my head toward the sky, trying to avoid a mouthful of salt water. Not Kim. Her first time around, she plants her head underwater and gets motored around like that. You could barely see what was being moved around, because when the dolphins push you like that, you can't see them under the water. It looks like some kind of invisible power source is rocketing the Kim Missle around the lagoon. After we all stopped laughing, the trainer suggested Kim dive for the bottom, and let the dolphins push her underwater, then push her up.


Kim is wearing both a wetsuit and a modified life jackety thing. She's in salt water. Add those factors up, and our friend Kim is pretty buoyant.

She tries to dive under, but all the floatiness won't let her quite make it.

So we, on the dock, were treated to the sight of Kim's ass torpedoing around the lagoon.

I can't wait to see the video.

The Realm of Monkey Love
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