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01.08.03
Beat Up Like Buffy, But Less World-Saving.
When I fell through the dock on New Year�s Eve, I appear to have hurt myself more seriously than I originally thought.

Post-Event Update, One Week Later:

* Bruise on arm healing nicely and almost gone.

* Stomach scrape has scabbed, and scabs have already been absently scratched off while watching Joe Millionaire.

* Horrifying ass bruise is becoming less intense in color, but is still shockingly large.

* Gigantic right upper thigh bruise is turning a fetching shade of green, with purpley blotches covering most of my upper leg.

* Re: Extremely sore and tender left shin bruise. This injury has had it the hardest - I apparently lightly bang my shins constantly. When I get in my car, I bump it against the steering wheel. When I walk down the hall, I tend to walk into a laundry basket or chair or whatever. I never even noticed I did these things, until I had an extremely sore and tender spot to remind me. Well, the bruise is talking back, and it ain�t happy.

It�s spread down my leg, over my ankle, culminating in several deep violet splotches that stretch halfway down my foot. In addition, a week later, my ankle is suddenly so swollen, I don�t appear to have an inner ankle bone any more.

Any time someone looks at it, they say, �Damn. You sprained your ankle really, really bad.�

Alas, they do not take into consideration what a freak I am.

Because it�s not sprained. I swear. I have no joint pain whatsoever. It�s tender and sore as hell, but that�s all on the surface.

Why is it so puffy? Why does it look worse, a week later?

And why do I keep hurting myself?

I seriously need to stop. 2003 so far has been the Year Chock-Full Of Pain And Injures, and it�s only been a week. First, the fall. Then, the horrible cold. Then, I was punching my bag in the backyard, and managed to bruise both my middle knuckles. Later that night, I was playing air hockey and accidentally had my finger hooked over the side of the table. Of course, the stupid puck smashed the hell out of it.

Add to that the various random cuts and bumps that always happen to me, and you�ve got a Bruised And Bloody Jamie.

It�s showing no signs of stopping, either.

The Great New Year�s Eve Plummet Of 2003 is no less scary in retrospect, by the way. My friend and I went back to the dock to look for my shoe. (The weather has been uneasy, and water constantly churned� I need to get online and start over, I think.) We stood at the end of the dock, looking down The Hole into the muddy, opaque water.

�Damn,� my friend said. �That is really, really scary. I can�t believe you fell through that.�

�I know. I�m treacherous.�

I have more to tell, but will have to cut this short, because I�m going to the ballet tonight.

Good god. Let�s hope I manage to escape without injury, shall we?

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