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2002-05-03
One Step Closer To Buffy Every Day
My knuckles hurt. That in itself sucks, but the reason they hurt (and NO, it has nothing to do with National Masturbation Month) is so freaking cool I can't wait to tell you about it.

I passed a test and am up another level in Tae Kwon Do! Yay, me! I'm now an orange/black belt. More orange than black, but still quite the asskicker, me.

I did my forms and kicks and stuff fine, and then I strapped on some gear and sparred a green/black belt. That's higher than me, but it was a really good fight. For the first time, I was able to follow my blocks with some retaliation, and the running has really increased my endurance. Two one-minute-and-a-half rounds are still hard as hell, but slightly less hard than they were before the Bridge Run. I also felt faster than before - I was able to land three hard kicks in a row on her chest pad, which I don't think I've ever done before. I also got kicked in the mouth, while not wearing a mouthpiece. Not too hard or straight on, though - I'm okay.

Finally, I had to break my board. I've done this every time I've tested, but I've only kicked the sucker before. This time, my instructor told me to use a reverse punch. (That's a punch with my back hand, throwing my body into it. As opposed to a jab, which is front hand with mostly just shoulder behind it.)

Only... the instructor had bought the wrong kinds of boards. They were more rubbery than usual, which means they gave a little when hit. That makes them harder to break.

But I wasn't afraid.

I lined up, paced my breathing, and did a few slo-mo practice punches to make sure I'd hit it in the middle. I never, ever hold back in these. Hesitating is how people get hurt. Gymnasts learn that lesson pretty quickly - It only took once when I chickened out on a front flip and landed on my back to learn that there is generally less pain when you go all out.

If you're gonna do it, DO it.

So I always imagine the board isn't there, and I'm trying to punch or kick my instructor in the chest. I'm usually pretty mad at him at this point for making me work so hard to get my belt, so it works out really well.

I hauled back and punched that board with my right hand as hard as I could.

There was a sickening crunch as my hand compacted, and the board didn't break.

Rest of class: "Awww..."
Instructor: "You okay?"
Me: "Yeah. Let's try it again, and quick."

I adjusted my stance, and lined up my punch.

Again, I punched with my right hand, and again, the fucking board didn't break.

Me: "Jesus, would you look at that? My knuckles have made actual CRATERS in the board. I'm denting it, but not breaking it."
Instructor: "Let's see your hand."

I had broken the skin just a little on two of my knuckes. I was shaking. I was ready to try again. We switched boards.

Instructor: "Do you want to switch hands?"
Me: "No, I want to use this one."
Instructor: "Doesn't that HURT?"
Me: "Nope. I have a zillion pounds of adrenaline coursing through my body at the moment, but if we stand here and discuss it much longer, it's gonna START to hurt."
Instructor: "Okay, let's do it. Please don't break your hand."

I adjusted my stance yet AGAIN, and lined up. And punched that board right into two pieces.

The class cheered, and while I bowed to my instructor, I said, "That was AWESOME."

He was like, "I know."

And it was. That feeling when that board split in two, realizing I'd made it through... wow.

Of course, then I sat down, and two minutes later, by hand began to hurt.

Totally worth it, though.

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