Never have, never will. Part of the problem is that most of the time when I�m riding around, I�m living in my own head instead of paying attention to my surroundings. The rest of the problem is that I have no natural directional sense. If you ask some people to point east, they go �Hmm� for a second, then point. If you ask me, I�d think for a long time while slowly turning in circles. Then, I might point to the sky, or possibly fall down from all that spinning.

Hence, I get lost in K-Mart a lot.

Saturday night, my extreme lack of directional sense got me into a little trouble. A whole gang of us were hanging out in the late evening, and we ended up at this guy�s house. This guy happened to have a go-cart.

I went last. After a spin or two around the block, I realized I was a little lost. Okay, I was really lost. It was getting late and it was pitch black. I�d had a beer or three. I started to panic a little, as visions of me hours and hours later, driving down a secluded beach, crying, filled my head. I thought about how much I�d miss Shawn, and wondered what would happen to my car, and if they�d buy a new go-cart. As I was planning my own funeral, I drove through a big puddle and soaked my already-too-revealing skirt. Just as I was wondering how long it would be before the party sent out a humiliating search party, I heard my friends.

I could see the lights where they were. I could hear music, and Shawn�s big fat mouth. I became filled with a white light of hope.

Until I spent the next 15 minutes trying to find a road that would connect me with my friends. I could see them, hear them � but I couldn�t freaking GET to them.

I stopped the go-cart. I got up. And I walked over, leaving the thing running in the road.

You should have seen everyone�s faces when I arrived, saying, �Hey, someone should go get that thing.�

A few minutes later, Shawn took me aside and quietly said, �Dude. Why�d you leave the go-cart?�

I just told her that I was sick of it.

She laughed, all, �Only you.�

What really happened is between you, me, and the rest of the Internet. Our little secret.

Looking back on this weekend, I can�t believe how much I packed in.

5 p.m. Friday: Leave work, crank up music and sing at top of lungs whole way home, occasionally shouting, �Yay, weekend!�

6-7:30 p.m. Friday: Party for friend Jennifer, who is leaving her job and joining a nursing program.

7:30-8 p.m. Friday: Talked to sister on phone, when should have been getting ready for 8:30 dinner reservation. Called friend going to dinner with, told him I�d be late.

8:30 p.m. Friday: waiting on couch for ride to dinner. Am faster at getting ready than thought I was. Shawn doesn�t give me enough credit in that area.

8:45 p.m. Friday: Finally get picked up.

9-11 p.m. Friday: Eat steak. Drink yummy wine.

11 p.m. Friday � 3:30 a.m. Saturday: Pick up Shawn. Go dancing. Have big fun.

4-9 a.m. Saturday: Sleep.

9 a.m. Saturday: Remove shoes.

9-11 a.m. Saturday: Sleep more.

11 a.m. � 4 p.m. Saturday: Eat, lay around, talk to Shawn.

4-8 p.m. Saturday: Go to party in cool little area called Little Jamaica. Had never been there before. Low-key, but fun.

8-9 p.m. Saturday: Hang out at house where go-cart incident happened.

9 p.m. Saturday � 1 a.m. Sunday: Go see band. Drink shots. Watch juggling guy do some show with vodka bottles and lots of fire. Juggling guy gets vodka on me. Shawn then begins walking around with a margarita glass in her cleavage, offering sips from the straw sticking out. While it was tasty, I don�t even want to know what�d been poured into cup.

1-4 a.m. Sunday: Go dancing. More big fun.

Noon-2p.m. Sunday: Wake up. Run errands.

2 p.m. � 5 p.m. Sunday: Learn how to wind surf. Ideal day � sunny, just a little breeze. Windsurfing is not easy. Big board, big sail, little Jamie. Fall a lot. Finally master standing and lifting sail, but have no control. Decide to focus on steering next lesson.

5-8 p.m. Sunday: Eat turkey sandwich. Nap.

No one can ever say I never get anything done, that�s for sure. Now, it could be argued that I�m great at packing some a whole bunch of ultimately useless activities into a short period of time, and that isn�t exactly efficient.

To that I say, Shut Up, You. I�m having fun.