2. While it still hurts, do it again on your way into a meeting Tuesday morning.

3. To really nail that ankle-coffin shut, re-roll your ankle while in the grocery store, � hour before you�re supposed to be on your talk show. Almost wipe out while doing it, making such a loud and dramatic scene that you fall into a cheese display and all the non-English-speaking employees gather around with furrowed brows, muttering concerned phrases in Spanish.

4. Go to show. Enjoy the unbelievably irritating taunts of your first �heckler,� who for some reason sits across from you, catches your eye, and makes strange gestures while rolling his eyes all the while.

5. During first commercial break, open up a can of verbal whoopass on �Heckler.� Suggest he get a hobby. Make him leave bar. (Best part of the week so far, by far.)

6. Leave show, still in ankle pain.

7. Take pain pill. Find out after taking pain pill that it�s morphine. You know how Pink sings, �I can�t stay on your morphine, �cause it�s making me itch��? Pink sings the gospel�s truth. Almost scratch your face off.

8. Have major, overdue talk with Beaker. Go to bed bummed out.

9. Wake up, tell yourself that you�re going to take a little break from Beaker so you have room to breathe. Tell yourself that starting today, things will get better.

10. Stop for coffee on way to work. Realize don�t have wallet. Hope it�s at Beaker�s. Fear it�s at talk show bar.

11. Drive to Beaker�s. Find wallet. As you�re driving away from his apartment, feeling better, have your car die in the middle of his road, right in front of his neighbor�s house. When you face the fact that it�s not going ANYWHERE, be sure to notice that it�s starting to rain for the first time in 4 months.

12. Have kind neighbor help push car back into Beaker�s driveway, then even drive you back to work.

13. ??? Who knows? I just hope you survive it, because I�m about ready to throw in the towel, and the soap, and the shampoo, and the bathtub.

And the washcloth.