I've been mad at myself since Sunday morning. Because of my stupidity Saturday night, my purse was stolen. I really need not to be so freaking trusting.

Today, the shopping spree the theiving assholes embarked upon with my debit card started going through and showing up on my bank records.

So instead of going to Tae Kwon Do and kicking the crap out of things tonight, like I really needed to do, I got to spend the evening talking to the cop.

Oh, the neighbors were a-buzz when they saw the police car outside, boy-howdy! Neal told them all I held up a bank.

Get this, though. Theiving, nasty motherfuckers who used my debit card ordered a pizza. Then then... wait for it... had it delivered. To their house. I have their address, people. I also have the cell phone number from which fifty dollars of pizza was ordered, but it's out of service. Cop said it was probably a stolen phone.

I would like to pee on that pizza, and then make them eat it with a side of feet.

I've also been calling gas stations where the card was used and asking about security tapes. I'm not sure, but I think I might have some success there, too. Wouldn't that be great? I totally want a copy. You know. For the grandkids. "Look at what a moron Granny was, in her day! Don't take after me! What? You want to borrow Granny's credit card, to buy roasary beads? Well, OK, honey. Here you go."

Unfortunately, this is only petty theft, a misdemeanor. Fortunately, I won't be responsible for any of the charges. Unfortunately, I'm not sure this investigation will be as open and shut as you would think it would be, considering I could drive to someone's house and roundhouse kick the pathetic creeps right now. Fortunately, nothing worse than this happened to me. Unfortunately, I'm still very, very angry with myself.

I'm not sure I've ever been this angry at me. Usually, I can give myself a little pep talk, and tell me that everyone makes mistakes, everyone makes bad decisions, and this will get better.

I've given myself that talk about 1138 times the past couple of days, and nothing. I'm furious. At me.