I'm sitting here watching a show called, "Strip Poker."

Neal: "What's this show?"

Me: "Strip Poker."

Neal: "But what's it called?"

Me: "Strip Poker."

Neal: "Holy crap."

I can't tear myself away from this trash! I am cable's bitch.

We're watching everything. Despite a year of not watching or caring about TV, I'm actually TRYING to get myself addicted to shows. OK, now The Sopranos is on. We're really working on getting into this one, because even though we don't know what's going on, it just SEEMS so good.

I did a dumb thing. I heard that people were really liking this Buffy The Vampire Slayer show, so I decided to tune in and get hooked. Well, I got hooked. One the last 20 minutes of the series finale. Even if it goes into syndicate, it's totally ruined.

Cable misses me when I'm gone. No one loves me like cable. Cable makes me feel so warm and safe.

Cable, I realize I'm looking at another screen right now. He means nothing to me. Honest.

Cable, I'm sorry I have to leave for work. No, I'm sorry. I mean it.

Here, baby. Let me dust you off. No, it's ok. I'll touch you nice.

Cable, come here. Let me hold you. OK, I really have to work now. I'm sorry. I'll buy you something pretty today, OK? How would you like some new batteries for the clicker? I'll pick them up. Just for you.

I'll hurry home. We'll watch old episodes of The Simpsons together. That's right, cable. Just you and me.

I know how to treat you just right.

Because I love you, cable. You complete me.

Dear lord. Someone call the cable guy before I propose. Neal's gonna be pissed. Oooh. Look at that diamond ring. C'mere, cable. I have a question for you.