Several factors all came together to result in me getting a little drunky wunky last night.

#1. Temptation Island. You must watch that show drunk. Otherwise, I'm not responsible for either your safety or your sanity.

#2. Small lunch + Very small snack.

#3. Shawn and I got paid yesterday, and therefore, we thought we were rich. We're all strutting around Winn-Dixie (I still can't say the name of that grocery store without snickering, but at least it's not a Piggly Wiggly), buying wine and flowers for Neal and hell, we'll get TWO bottles of wine, since we can afford it! Yeah!

Those two bottles of wine and a shattered wine glass later (Shawn's fault!), Neal comes home to lots of chattering and a living room full of smoke.

Next thing I know, he and I are in Blockbuster, and I'm drunkedly video-renting while trying to NOT breathe my highly flammable breath on the other patrons. I'm pretty sure the Blockbuster guy thinks I'm a lunatic.

We watched "Antitrust." It wasn't as bad as I expected. I'm not naming names, but I will say do NOT see it with a computer geek. Especially one who constantly talks to the characters, even when he DOESN'T know what he's talking about. Constantly.

Speaking of Neal (oops), he needs to stop saying funny things while I'm trying to rinse soap off of my face in the shower. I almost drowned this morning, for the second time in a week.

His car wouldn't start. Again. He's out there for a while screwing with it, and the next thing I know, he's rinsing the grease off of his hands under the shower stream (you can only have water running from one place in our apartment), telling me he fixed it.

Neither of us know much about cars, so I coo, "Aw, my little mechanic," before I stick my face under the water to rinse.

Neal: "Yeah, Jamie. I was out there banging the starter with a hammer."

Me: "Gurgle-sputter-pbbbbth!"

As KellyK said, "The Neal School of Car Repair: If it's broke, whack it."