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2001-05-11
Where In The World Is Jamie?
Where have I been?

In the Bahamas all week. I think I mentioned this earlier. My radio station gave away several trips. A DJ and I traveled to the resort with the winners, and we broadcast live every afternoon to promote the resort, a sunscreen company, and a drugstore who sponsored the trip. Neal got to go, too.

But not so fast. Before I tell you about my island adventure, I have to fill you in on how we wrapped up Mollie's visit.

Mollie, Shawn, Neal and I drove to South Beach Saturday night. We checked into our hotel, dressed to kill, and headed out the door.

The first club was a kind of R&B joint... fine for Shawn and me, but not fine for Neal. He bribed the bartender to tell us where to go, and off we headed to Crowbar.

This was my first experience with a club where you have to, like, compete for the bouncer's attention. We did so by having Neal slip him some cash. Neal was greasing palms all over South Beach like a mob king. It was kind of awesome, in a totally shallow way. It would have been better if we were rich, but you know, details.

The cover was ridiculously expensive as well. I don't want to talk about it.

Once we were in, we realized we paid so much because MTV was there filming. I never caught why, but they certainly were there. Cameras and lights, whee!

So look for me, OK? I'm the one dancing on the speaker, wearing a silver cropped speghetti-strap shirt with fringe over my stomach, black leather pants, and fuck-me shoes. (By the way, the shoes looked great, but I'm still nursing the freaking blisters. Damn stilettos.)

We boogied till about 5:30 a.m. Oh, did I mention Mollie's flight left at 8:05 a.m.? Yeah, it did.

Neal, bless his big heart, took her to the airport while Shawn and I remained confortable in our respective comas. He came back and laid down for a bit, but we ended up leaving South Beach at about noon.

OK, this is where Neal and I screw up. We come home and settle in at about 2:30 p.m. We pass out about an hour later, and then sleep till 9 a.m. Well, we still have to eat and pack and take care of the cat and do all the other little out-of-town-for-a-week stuff. It took our tired asses till about 1 a.m. Neither of us could sleep, and we laid awake till about 3 a.m. Oh, did I mention we had to get up and leave for the airport at about 4:30 a.m.? Well, we did. We basically took about an hour and a half nap in the middle of the freaking night.

People, it's impossible to sleep on one of those little crappy-ass death trap planes they put you in to get to the Bahamas. You can't even STAND in them, unless you're about 3 feet tall.

So Neal and I arrived at the resort at about 9:30 a.m., exhausted to the point of being sick. We checked in and imagined how wonderful our beds would be. We ate breakfast and thought about sleep. We spoke to our resort contact, visions of Slumberland dancing in our heads.

Resort Contact: "Your rooms aren't ready yet, and they won't be for at least 3 hours. But we can hold your bags, and you can walk around the grounds and do whatever you want!"

Jamie and Neal's Brains: "All we want to do is sleep. That's it, lady."

We found an empty hammock, and prepared to start our adventure. Just as soon as we got a little shut-eye.

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