Cirque Du Soleil. I am so excited, and I have no idea what to wear.
The last time I went to a circus was about a year and a half ago. I was working in Depressing Smalltownofdeath, Ohio, when I noticed ads for the circus. Like a Mark Twain character, I called Neal, all excited and ready for the Big Top. Neal has two adorable 8-year-old (7, then) nephews I'd never met, and I suggested we invite them, so we wouldn't look like the freaks who were too old for the circus. But I was going with or without the kids.
Fortunately, one nephew could make it. We'll call him Aaron. Aaron was cute and blond and funny and gangly and smart with cowlicks. He was the perfect circus buddy.
Neal picked him up, then drove the 45 minutes to meet me in Depressing Smalltownofdeath. He was late, and drove like a speedracer. He told me Aaron was screaming for him to go faster FASTER FASTER the whole trip, and whenever Neal would pass another car, Aaron would shriek, "YOU'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD!"
They arrived in a circus mood, for sure.
Aaron and I met, and he eyed me warily. I'm not sure he'd ever met a grownup as loud and goofy as me. We were pals after 5 minutes in the car.
During the drive to the Big Top, Aaron and I invented The Coin Game. I gathered all the loose change I could find, shook it up in a mug, and Aaron closed his eyes and selected one. If he told me the date on the coin correctly, and whether or not it was mint stamped, he got it. When this got too easy, I started teaching him who the disembodied heads on the coins represented. This is still a very popular game among Neal's nephews, only now I think it's called, "During All Holidays, Let's Take All The GrownUps In The Room For Every Cent Of Spare Change We Can Chump Out Of Their Pockets." I'm very popular with Neal's family.
And we were at the circus! Whatta dump, but our spirits were high and I wanted to get cotton candy and see the tiger. We bypassed the rides outside and entered the striped tent. From this point on, the nice people of the Traveling Conartist Circus tried to punk rock us out of our last dollar.
People, they would stop the show occasionally and try to pawn crap directly to the crowd. Parents had nowhere to hide as the sounds of children wailing, "Daddy, I want THAT!" filled the tent. But Neal, Aaron, and I were strong in the face of oversized balloons and cheap light sabers. (We were not-so-strong in the face of the coloring books, but we're only human, OK?)
During intermission, we dashed outside and got in line to ride the elephant. Yep, all of us. I don't care if I WAS the only adult (besides Neal) on that animal's back. It was great.
There was one funny moment when the carnie was helping us onto the elephant's back. First up, an unfamiliar little girl. Then Aaron. Then me, but he only got me about halfway up there. I was in jungle limbo, unable to get down to the platform, but afraid to grab the bar on the elephant's back and pull myself aboard, lest I yank it off and drag Aaron and some poor little girl to their premature deaths. Meanwhile, the carnie was looking furtively back and forth between Neal and me, unsure whether it would be proper to grab my thigh and hoist me up in the presence of Neal. Neal finally snapped out of whatever trance he was in, exclaimed, "Oh!" and helped me up. I still remember how it felt to move around the circle with that gorgeous elephant lumbering underneath us.
Then it was back inside for the rest of the show, but first, cotton candy for Aaron and me! Pink for me and blue for him! Yay!
Little did we know, Sugar + Aaron = Vibrating Nephew.
We might as well injected a crack-caffeine mixture directly into that little boy's veins. He was visibly high. I think he had superstrength. He was audibly louder.
But no worries, there was a circus going on! Loud was good!
And rides to ride afterward! We bought Aaron a ride-non-stop bracelet, and he spent the rest of the evening sliding down what in retrospect was a rather morbid attraction -- I giant inflated Titanic replica mid-sink. You climbed up the middle then slid down the deck. Classy. We couldn't get him off of it. I raced him a few times.
Then, sadly, our adventure ended. It started raining as we walked to our cars. Aaron didn't sleep all the way home, so Neal and I sheepishly dropped off an extremely hyper kid that night.
I know Cirque Du Soleil is all fancy and amazing and slick... but that night was great. Really great.
