*Thai food is good.

*Everyone is a little presumptious and a little TOO image-conscious. It's really fun to call these people out on their silliness.

*It's never too hot for leather.

*L.A. has no humidity, unlike a certain chain of islands off the south coast of Florida I can think of.

*Smoking is illegal indoors in CA, but every L.A. bar we visited had a "smoking room." This was very convenient for me.

*The grocery security guards won't let you try on their hat.

*The taxi's sticker that says "Everyone rides for the same price" is removable, and looks nice on a silver sequined purse.

*Graumann's Chinese Theater is always open. Even at 4:30 a.m.

*Even though you're not beautiful or a model, men will still whistle at you and try to hit on you.

*Drinks are expensive, but manicures are dirt-cheap. Go figure.

*It's in a different time zone. Even when you're drunk.

*The airport's a mess.

*Sometimes the bars, not strip-clubs, but plain ol' bars, will have a naked chick for no reason.

*The batteries come with free cars!

*The Betsey Johnson outlet store is now defunct.

*L.A. likes to repeat words in the titles of their businesses. For example, �Mr. Clean Cleaners,� �Liquor Time Liquor (of course, prompting the question, �What time it is? Liquor Time Liquor time!�),� and my personal favorite� �Mo� Better Meaty Meat Burgers.� I tried to get a T-shirt from Mo� Better Meaty Meat Burgers, but they�re out. They�ll have some in a few weeks� My breath is bated.

*There's free postcards everywhere.

*Sometimes cross-dressers aren't gay.