I've been living and working in Florida for almost a year. But I still have Ohio license plates. Apparently, it's illegal to have out-of-state plates after you've been employed by the state of Florida for 1 month.

Oops. They've been illegal for about 9 months. But big deal, right? How can they prove I have a job, should I get pulled over? Well, they could, but I doubt anyone would go to that much effort.

Um... except, over the weekend, I happened to glance at my tags expiration date. 09/2000. Double oops.

A Florida license plate is very expensive. We won't have the cash in the bank until Wednesday. So I just have to make it one and a half more days without getting caught.

Easy, right?

So imagine how fabulous I felt today, pulling into the line for McDonalds drive-thru at lunch. Pulling up behind a Sheriff Dept. car. With someone right behind me, trapped.

I sat there and prayed his hunger for McLunch would distract him from noticing my McTags.

He must have wanted the Value Meal pretty bad, because McD's was backed up, and they made me PULL INTO A PARKING SPACE RIGHT BESIDE HIM where we both waited for our McFood.

Why is it so damn hard to appear nonchalant? I must have looked like a freaking idiot, wrinkling my brow at my newspaper so Mr. Cop would know it's VERY INTERESTING and I'm absolutely not noticing his long arm of the law in the least. Damn, I'm smooth.

He pulled away without giving me a second glance.

I'm a fugitive. Don't rat me out, OK?