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11.6.00
BEST! WEEKEND! EVER!
Damn. What a great freaking weekend. You may not want to read this entry, because you are going to be SO jealous.

1. Mom's OK. She's in some pain, but she has a new, plastic knee. Better yet, preliminary biopsy* results show no signs of cancer in her bones. Whew.

2. Neal and I went out to lunch on Saturday. We went to this yummy buffet and ate tons. At dessert time, I went up with a big plate and scooped up one of each thing. Then I brought it over to the table, plunked it between us, and we went to town. It was great. Also, the restaurant is near the Miami airport. There were these headphones on the tables, and you could listen to the air traffic controllers. I got to pretend like I was in that movie with John Cusack and Billy Bob Thornton, but I can't remember the name of it right now. Oh, yeah. Pushing Tin.

3. Then, Neal and I went shopping. We mostly bought desperately needed work clothes (I think I wore the same pair of pants three times last week), but it was still fun. We are shameless, greedy consumers, and we love it. I'm wearing my new grey pants, and they could not fit any better.

4. Once we got back to the Keys, we got ready and went to see Clarence Clemens. He is this saxaphone guy, and he kicks ass. So we went to this resort and sipped $10 thimble-sized drinks and watched this great show. Kicking even more ass was this chick playing the violin. That woman has the BEST JOB EVER. She was rock and roll, and she stole the show. You would have loved her.

5. We went dancing for a while after the concert. I passed out in the car on the way home.

6. Woke up and went to "The Island Jubilee," this fair-type thing at a marina. I had to broadcast from there. I was in a fucking great mood, and managed to fanagle all kinds of free crap. I also consumed lots of fair-like food. I also shot paintball guns and held a 50-lb. python. (The snakes name is Monty, although I tried to get the guy to name it, "Jamie.")

7. Neal showed up at the Jubilee later that afternoon, at which point I accosted him and dragged him to the place where you could ride a helicopter over the Keys for $20 per person. When we bought our tickets, Neal handed the stoned, money-collecting kid a $100 bill. The kid gave him back 2 $20s and another $100. Neal had a short internal conflict, sucked it up, pointed out the kid's mistake, and gave him back the money. Extra-long helicopter ride for us! SO fun.

8. Then Neal and I came home, ordered Chinese food, and watched Twin Peaks. We basically dicked around and did nothing, and it was fabulous.

I don't know what to say but that. Needless to say, work feels crappy, but I'll live.

P.S. xxx-rated part - there was lots of sex sprinkled in throughout the weekend, too. Yay for sex!

*For all of this morning, instead of "biopsy" this word was "autopsy." Good Lord. Apologies to anyone I may have frightened with my excessively morbid subconscious, and I hope my typo doesn't create bad mojo for my mommy. I don't think it will.

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