Happy Birthday to me!

Work peeps just handed me a card signed by everyone.

Why does that feel weird?

For your reading pleasure, I'd like to share a couple of conversations from yesterday.

**MEN SHOULD SKIM THIS NEXT PART**

Briefly, to spare you the pain of my personal health life, I've been having problems with my period. Namely, horrible, crippling cramps and nausea every month. My doctor just prescribed the pill for me, and I'm waiting for my next bout to begin. OK. Now you know.

Over AIM yesterday, my fabulous friend Gretchen was touting the wonder that is The Pill, waxing about how great it is.

Here you go:

Gretchen: it will all change once those pills kick in. you'll LOVE it.!

Jamie: God, I can't wait. A life without crippling cramps seems like a bizarre fantasy.

Jamie: A menstrual fairy tale...

Jamie: Snow Red.

Jamie: Little Red Riding Crotch.

Jamie: Hansel and Tampax.

Jamie: The Three Little Pills.

Jamie: Beauty and the PMS.

Jamie: 101 Dropsofblood.

Gretchen: i'll spin you a little tale. once there was a girl whose periods lasted for a week. this sucked but she took heart in the fact that at least she was like clockwork and on a 26 day cycle. it could be worse. then, she went on the pill and everything was even more peachy keen. (peachy keener?) no more cramps and better periods. then, she went off the pill and several months later things began to change....

Jamie: Ooooh... tell me more! Were they MAGIC pills?

Gretchen: all of the sudden her period was no longer starting every 26 days. it was starting every 21 days! on top of that it was still lasting a week! so not counting pms, our heroine was on the rag for 1/2 of every month. she then decided that the situation was no longer working for her, so she decided to change her situation....

Jamie: Did a prince come and kiss her?

Gretchen: yeah, she only wishes. actually, she went back on the pill! everything has been just wonderful ever since. no more cramps. short periods. light periods. no need to buy jumbo tampons anymore. and our little queen lived happily ever after with an easy period and 100 cats.

Jamie: That's a wonderful story! With any luck, I'll soon be able to tell the terrifying tale about the princess who'd insides would come out of her face once a month and the searing hot knives plaguing her abdomen.

Gretchen: ooooo scary!

Jamie: It is, but with any luck, the enchanted pills will rescue this princess, too, and make it better!

Jamie: OK. I'm totally saving this conversation.

**OK, MEN. C'MON BACK TO ME.**

Wow. It's not every day I get to summon the male population in general.

There you go, people. Slice-of-life humor at its finest.

I don't know what's in store for me today. I have a sneaking suspicion my car is getting washed. That is GOOD news. I've lived on this island for 7 months, and haven't washed it since I've been here. I know, I'm disgusting.

Guess how lucky I am? I get a birthday at the end of October, too! My fabulous friends are promising rahrah fun when they come to visit over Halloween. Yay for me!

Coming up tomorrow...

Who are these spectacular people I keep mentioning? Why don't they live on the island with me? (Good question.) Why are they so important? Why are they in my life? Will Karena shake off her bout with amnesia and discover the real reason Stone won't accept responsibility for his unborn, kidnapped child?

Find out Wednesday on another exciting episode of Jamiestar!