When I kissed him hello, I smelled beer. I stepped back and looked at his clearly buzzing face.

Me: �Dude. Are you drunk?�

Beaker: �Not really � I only had four beers. Maybe five. Four or five.�

Me: �Wow. Getting a head start on your St. Patrick�s Day celebrating, huh?�

Beaker: �IT�S ST. PATRICK�S DAY?! I forgot! Yay!�

My dad and I had a great visit. He had to jet off to England right after, so the Third Annual JamieStar�s Daddy Entry will just have to wait. But calm down, Jamie�s Dad�s Loyal Fans � he assured me it�s a comin�. In fact, it�s been a while, and he asked for a reminder, so I should probably give him one.

I know how clich� and tired it is, but I have been BUSY. Work all day, with a meeting or other commitment almost every night. It�s funny, I was thinking about some people I haven�t seen in a while, and wondering what they�ve been up to� mid-thought, I realized that I don�t know because I usually only see them out � I haven�t been �out� in ages. I�ll go to a dinner party or event, but my ass hasn�t seen the inside of a bar in a couple of months now. So weird, especially for a lush like me. Oh, except for when my Dad visits. Those are censored nights, though � the usually debauchery is muted for parental effect.

And, because everyone loves �em, another Beaker story before I go.

He finally opens the brand-new electric toothbrush his mom got him, like, a year ago. I watch him gouge the package open, put toothpaste on the bristles, then� turn on the toothbrush as he�s moving it towards his pearly whites.

You all know what happens next, right? Typical rookie mistake:

The glob of toothpaste is shaken free by the circular motion of the bristles, landing with a nice PLOP on his clean shirt.

I point to his chest and laugh and laugh.

As he scrapes the toothpaste of his shirt, he mutters, �Great. THAT�S going to be on the internet.�

Prophecy = Self-Fulfilling.