The bad news is, I have muscle damage and I also have to pay a crapload of money for x-rays.

It looked so bad, though, that when the doctor came back to tell me the results of the x-rays, he said, “I can’t believe it, but… it’s not broken. I don’t know how.”

I know how! ‘Cause I got milk, bitch!

So he told me to keep it elevated all weekend. I sort of did that, in between dancing and drinking and other sweaty activities.

Monday, I went for a teeny little jog. It felt a little swollen and tender at the end, but other than that, okay.

I took it easy Tuesday, and noticed that I still have one place that is INCREDIBLY sore to the touch – a large lump on my inner left shin, above the ankle, that kind of makes me look deformed.

So last night, I went to Tae Kwon Do and told my instructor what was up, letting him know I need to take it easy.

I have a very, VERY hard time taking it easy. I’m a Go Go Girl as it is, and when it comes to TKD, which I love so much and find very rewarding, it is extremely difficult to hold back.

As a result, I was realizing that I was sore and tender needing to stop altogether, right when class was ending. So, perfect.

I go home and meet my friend Ry, because we had plans to cook dinner. While we were waiting for the water to boil, I said, “Hey, wanna see the new kick I learned tonight?”

He said, “Sure!”

So I kind of showed him how it works.

Ry said, “Like this?” and kind of kicked one leg out a little.

I dropped to the ground, in horrible pain.

Ry is an incredibly reserved, gentle person who would never, EVER intentionally hurt anything that wasn’t a fish. So he didn’t kick out very hard or anything, but managed – while wearing shoes – to make contact with that one awfully sore spot on my shin.

He took me down. Fell like a house of cards on the kitchen floor, praying for the pain to just go away. Poor Ry knows about the sore spot and realized what he did, and was all, “Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to even touch you!”

Through gritted teeth, I told him that I know he didn’t.

He grabbed under my arms and tried to help me up.

Through gritted teeth, I asked him to PLEASE leave me there for just a few seconds until my leg stopped throbbing like “IT” in A Wrinkle In Time.

In a minute, I felt better, but I have to say, when it was time to put weight back on Ol’ Sore Leg, I wasn’t sure I’d keep standing.

I kept standing, all the while doing that thing where you don’t want to make the person feel any worse because it was an accident, but DAMN if it doesn’t hurt.

Later, when we were on the couch, we both started laughing about it. Ry’s all, “I suck. You managed to make it through an entire Tae Kwon Do class, where kicking is the POINT, without getting kicked. And the first thing I do is nail you.”

Tonight, I’m going to a Going Away Party for one of the station’s employees.

It’s in a bar. A bar on a… dum dum DUM… dock.

I’m going to need lots of luck and no missing boards.