The Goddess then spoke:

"Jamie, Get thee to a Home Depot and get a space heater, lest you and Neal freeze your cute little asses off tonight."

Hence, little Jamie could wait no longer to acquire said heater. Instead of adding a journal entry, as planned, she high-tailed it to the mainland before the stores closed, in search of the elusive warmth-spewing object.

And it was destiny - Jamie failed. Despite her pathetic begging to Rob the WalMart hardware clerk, not a space heater was to be found. So home she went. And there was much sadness and shivering over the land.

HOWEVER. It is spoken: Do NOT lose faith in the Goddess!

For that evening, the kind Goddess called down from the heavens. "Jamie," she said, "These are my commandments."

"Your long lost friend Dawn shall make contact with you for the first time in over a year. You two shall talk for almost an hour, and get almost all caught up. Dawn will also inform you that she will journey to South Beach in two weeks, and you two will finally reunite."

And there was much rejoicing.

The next day, the Goddess had more commandments.

"You shall have the best strategy meeting ever. The kind words will by far outnumber the criticisms, and the much-talked-about-but-never-delivered public affairs show featuring you will finally become within your grasp. There shall also be mention of a raise."

And there was much rejoicing.

"After that meeting, you will call a meeting with two other co-workers, one of which has been the source of much bullying. She will try to bully you again, but I will give you the strength to tell her how YOU say things will work. Your boss will back you up, and you'll feel like part of a team, for the first time. And the bully will fall into the depths of... uh... wrongness, and you shall rise victorious, having given birth to a new and blessed strategy."

And there was much rejoicing.

"After you have conquered the mighty bully, you shall attend a promotions meeting. At this gathering of spirits, you will be told that through a source of divine grace and corporate sponsorship, these is a chance you may acquire an all-inclusive week in the Bahamas this May."

And there was much rejoicing.

"During the course of this gathering, you also shall be told that the talk show you used to have and so enjoyed will finally be picked up with new sponsors. This idea will finally be pushed through today, and the deal may be sweeter than anticipated."

And there was much rejoicing.

"During the afternoon hours, Jamie, you will attend a luncheon. You will dine hungrily upon the scrumptious repast and key lime pie. During this meal, you shall be recognized by the speaker as one of the important guests in the room. You will feel surprised and pleased."

And there was much rejoicing.

Yeah, so I'm having just about the best day ever. I don't know what I did to make my karma this shiny and wonderful, but I sure as hell hope I can keep it up.