Our cat.

Our toilet, like in the bathroom, sandwiched between the tub and the toilet paper.

Peed. In the bowl.

I'm not making this up.

Let's start at the beginning about our cat, also known as, "Little Miss Bodeena."

I don't even like cats.

Like many people's pets, she adopted us.

There's a big ol' cat over-population problem on the island where I live. It is apparently the result of many people owning cats, but not being responsible and having them spayed. Kittens were set free and reproduced. And so on and so on. They're everywhere. If you're out at a restaurant, eating outdoors, chances are, a cat will pass under your chair. Scared the crap out of me the first time it happened, and of course I'm on a job interview at the time... very charming.

Anyway, a lot of residents will feed them, because they feel sorry for all the poor critters running around. Just about every cat is a feral cat. Some are nice, some are mean, some are friendly, some are skittish. It just depends.

We, like everyone else on the island, live in a neighborhood where there is a gang of cats that all hang out here. Because I am severely allergic, I asked Neal to please NOT feed them, as it would just attract them. I even pointed out the lady next door, who set out food religiously.

I suspected he was a big softie and doing it anyway. Especially since there was one very affectionate, friendly, and skinny black cat, who obviously belonged to someone, and who obviously at one time lived in our house. I was right. A few weeks later:

Jamie: "Neal, why is there a food bowl outside, with cat food in it?"

Neal: "Uhhh..."

Jamie: "Neal! Come on!"

Neal: "They're HUNGRY! I feel so BAD!"

Jamie: "Fine, as long as they don't come in the house."

Neal: "OK."

A few weeks later...

Jamie: "Neal, why is that black cat wearing a collar?"

Neal: "Uhhh..."

You get the idea. Then she was in the house, but just in this the one laundry basket. Then she was in just 2 laundry baskets. She now pretty much does what she wants. I appear to have built up an immunity to her fur, which is a good thing. Little Miss Bodeena also looks a lot healthier since Neal has been spoiling her. She pees outside (or I thought that was what she was doing, until last night), and doesn't shed very much. I don't mind having her around. Oh, fine! I like her! I'll admit it!

She's hysterical. She really is.

But last night took the cake. I was at the sink, and didn't even realize she had come into the bathroom. And then I hear this noise, like someone is taking a leak.

And I look over, and there she is, standing on the toilet seat with her tail toward me, peeing away.

This is the best part. She then proceeds to look over her shoulder at me, like, "Do you mind?"

You can say what you want about how marvelous your cat is. That beats the shit out of a litter box any day.